Goin off the Rail on a Craz Trai

Ozz
“No Prisoners”
1980, Epic # NJE 36198

Ozz – Potential rock and roll superstars doomed by the album cover design department. No self-respecting 80′s rocker would be caught dead buying an album with this cover photo.  It  looks like the dude snuck up on stage during an Earth, Wind, & Fire Show in a circus tent.

The music is actually not bad.  A bit dated, but certainly not what you’d expect from the cover.  Apparently, modern metalheads have come to consider this album a bit of a “lost gem”.  Check it out:

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Kids, this it what hipsters looked like in 1985

Personal Effects
“Bring Out the Jazz”
1985, Earring Records

When I found this I honestly thought it was going to be a recording of a high school jazz band.  I have to admit being a bit disappointed to find out Personal Effects is actually a nerdy synth-pop group from Rochester, NY.  Not sure what look they were going for on this cover.  The mid-80′s were a weird, confused time…

In a band called Margaret Explosion

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What about soccer??

All Sports Band
s/t
Radio Records / Atlantic #RR19321
1981

Finally, here’s a record that reminds me of why I got into collecting bizarre records to begin with!  A completely fabricated, major-label group specifically designed to cash in on the 80′s teen fad of… sports.

All Sports Band

All the top American sports of the day are represented.  Car racing, from before car racers were rednecks.  Baseball, from the days when baseball players were skinny and doing coke instead of steroids.  Football, because he’s the black guy.  Boxing, because he’s not wearing a shirt.  And of course, karate, the king of all 1980′s sports.

Here’s a vid of Dick Clark talking with the band on American Bandstand.  Apparently the actual musical performance was just too valuable to post on Youtube.

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Turn the lights back out

Vision
s/t
1985, Heartland Records

I’ve never seen a record with such a difference in the band’s look between the front and back covers.  The front cover looks like a band that might have opened up for The Fixx on their “One Thing Leads to Another” tour.  The back cover looks like the band that played your weird drunk uncle’s second wedding.

  Facebook, like everyone else.

 

 

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Come for the blintzes, stay for the Booty Shirts

Steve Fortgang
“The #1 Bar Mitzvah Band”
1983

From the liner notes:

“The STEVE FORTGANG Entertaining Orchestra has become the #1 Bar Mitzvah Band in South Florida probably because they enjoy what they do… They thrive on making your party a success!  The band is outrageous and their “good-time” attitude is contagious!  Perhaps Steve is #1 because of the many “Specialty Dances” and “Contests” he MC’s, and the hit records, albums and Booty Shirts that are awarded to the kids as prizes.”

Steve Fortgang, “Maniac”:


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Billie Jean no es Mi Amante

Texas Thunder
“Mejor Que Nunca”
1985, CARA records

Michael Jackson called, he wants his off-purple Thriller-knockoff wifebeater  jackets back.

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Not a chance

Chance
“Chance”
1985. Mercury #826 029-1 M-1

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summer album cover #1

Various Artists
“Beach Balls” Original soundtrack
Phoenix Records, 1988

Read my blog about this record here!

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gesundheit!

Børud-Gjengen
“I Farta”
Tvers #5008
Norway

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